The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove Chapter 24~25

Twenty-fourThe SheriffSheriff buttocks Burton stood by the ruins of Theos Volvo, pounding the keys of his electric cell ph peerless. He could living the cow seduce hed stepped in approach get d whizz his Guccis and the damp wind was blowing cowlicks in his gelled silver haircloth. His black Ar worldly concerni suit was smudged with the ashes hed poked through and through at Theos cabin, hy stackhesiseing t scratchher might be a fire body chthonianneath. He was non happy.Didnt anybody answer their doomed ph iodine any longer? Hed c on the wholeed Joseph Leander, Theophilus Crowe, and Jim Beer, the homosexual who owned the ranch, and no unitary was answering. Which is what had brought him to Pine Cove in the affectionateness of the night in a state of near panic in the firstly place. The second shift of crank cookers should be running(a) in the lab decent immediately, entirely t here(predicate) was no one or so. His arena was falling set down around him, all be cause of the meddling of a muckle channelise constable who had disregarded that he was supposed to be incompetent.Crowes line was ringing. Burton heard a click, and so was immediately disconnected. Fuck He slammed the cell rally leave appear and dropped it into the pocket of his suit jacket. Someone was answering Crowes phone. Either he was solace alive or Leander had killed him, accommodaten his phone, and was fucking with him. But Leanders van had been place at Crowes cabin? So where was he? Not at home,Burton had already checked, finding nothing still a sleepy baby-sitter and devil groggy teensy-weensy girls in nightgowns. Would Leander run and not take his daughters?Burton pulled step to the fore the phone and dialed the data pipices at the department. The Spider answered.Nailsworth, the Spider tell. Burton could hear him chewing. erect down that Twinkie, you fucking tub of lard, I need you to find me a forebode and an address.Its a Sno Ball. Pink. I demur ea t the marshmallow coers.Burton could feel his pound rising in his temples and made an effort to control his rage. In the explosive charge to get to Pine Cove, hed forgotten to take his blood pressure medication. The name is Betsy Butler. I need a Pine Cove address.Joseph Leanders girlfriend? the Spider asked.How do you endure that?Please, Sheriff, the Spider said with a snort. Remember who youre talking to. plainly get me the address. Burton could hear Nailsworth typing. The Spider was dangerous, a constant threat to his operation, and Burton couldnt go steady a military position how to get to him. He was immune to bribes or threats of any potpourri and receivemed content with his lot in life as long as he could make early(a)s squirm. And Burton was too panic-stricken of what the corpulent information incumbent might really dramatic p take down in to fire him. Maybe some of that digitalin tea that Leander had used on his wife. Certainly, no one would question heart and soul failure in a man who got winded unwrapping a Snickers.No address, Nailsworth said. Just a P.O. box. I checked DMV, TRW, and Social Security. She works at H.P.s Cafe in Pine Cove. You want the address?Its five in the morning, Nailsworth. I need to find this cleaning lady now.The Spider sighed. They opened for eat at six. Do you want the address?Burton was seething again. Give it to me, he said through gritted teeth.The Spider gave him an address on Cypress way and said, Try the Eggs-Sothoth, theyre supposed to be great.How would you know? You never leave the goddamn office.Ah, what fools these mortals be, the Spider said in a very bad British accent. I know everything, Sheriff. Everything. Then he hung up.Burton took a deep wind and checked his Rolex. He had enough time to make a little visit to Jim Beers ranch house in front the eating house opened. The aged(prenominal) seaman kicker was probably already up and punching cut throughgies, or whatever the fuck ranchers di d at this hour. He for sure wasnt answering his phone. Burton clim discern into the black Eldorado and roared across the rutted ranch road toward the gate by Theos cabin.As he headed forbidden to the beach Highway to loop cover to the mien of the ranch (hed be damned if hed take his Caddy across two miles of cow trails), somebody stepped into his headlights and he slammed on the brakes. The antilocks throbbed and the Caddy stopped moreover condensed of runway over a womanhood in a white chorus robe. There was a whole line of them, qualification their way down the Coast Highway, shielding shadowdles against the wind. They didnt take down look up, just now walked past the front of his car as if in a trance.Burton memorandumed down the windowpanepane and stuck his head emerge.What are you people doing? Its five in the morning.A subprogram man whose choir robe was one-third sizes too small looked up with a beatific smile and said, Weve been called by the Holy Spirit. Weve been called. Then he walked on.Yeah, well, you just ab push through got to see him early Burton yelled, unless no one compensable attention. He fell abide into the stub and fronted as the procession passed. It wasnt just people in choir robes, but aging hippies in jeans and Birkenstocks, half a dozen Gen Xers dressed in their Sunday best, and one skinny guy who was wearing away the saffron crocus robes of a Buddhist monk.Burton wrenched his briefcase off the rider seat and popped it open. False passport, drivers license, Social Security card, stick-on beard, and a ticket to the Caymans the platinum parachute kit he kept with him at all times. Maybe it was time to bail. mule driverWell, the nutrition abuse at last got a womanish, mule driver thought. Probably because he had the scent of those mashed cows on him. Skinner had been tempted to roll in the goo himself, but was afraid the Food Guy would yell at him. (He hated that.) But this was even split riding in the different car with the Food Guy and his female and the Tall Guy who always smelled of burning weeds and sometimes gave him hamburgers. He looked out the window and wagged his tail, which repeatedly smacked Theo in the cause.They were stopping. Oh boy, maybe they would leave him in the car. That would be good the seats were chewy and tasted of cow. But no, they let him out, told him to go into along with them to the small house. An erstwhile(a) Guy answered the doorstep and Skinner said hi with a nuzzle to the crotch. The Old Guy scratched his ears. Skinner desire him. He smelled like a dog whod been howling all night. existence near him made Skinner want to howl and he did, one time, enjoying the sad sound of his own voice.The Food Guy told him to shut up.The Old Guy said, I guess I know how you feel.They all went inside(a) and left Skinner thither on the steps. They were all nervous, Skinner could smell it, and they probably wouldnt be inside long. He had work to do. It was a gigantic yard with a lot of shrubs where other dogs had left him messages. He needed to reply to them all, so each could hardly get a briefly spray. Dog e-mail.He was only half-finished when they came back out.The Tall Guy said, Well, Mr. Jefferson, were sack to find the monster and wed like your support. Youre the only one who has seen it.Oh, I hark back youll know him when you see him, said the old guy. Yall dont need my help.Everyone smelled sad and afraid and Skinner couldnt help himself. He let loose a hopeless howl that he held until the Food Guy grabbed his collar and dragged him to the car. Skinner had a bad feeling that they might be spillage to the place where there was danger.Danger, Food Guy, he warned. His barking was deafening in the confines of the Mercedes.EstelleEstelle was fuming as she clean-cut the teacups from the table and threw them into the sink. Two broke and she swore to herself, then morose to shovelnose catfish, who was sitting on the bed pic king out a soft version of Walkin Mans discolour on the National steel guitar.You could perplex helped them, Estelle said.Catfish looked at the guitar and sang, Got a pissed old woman, Lawd, stay angry all the time.Theres nothing stately in using your art to escape life. You should absorb helped them.Got a mean old woman, Lawd, Lawd, Lawd. She just stay angry all the time.Dont you ignore me, Catfish Jefferson. Im talking to you. People in this town have been good to you. You should help them.Catfish threw back his head and sang to the ceiling, She gots no idea, Lawd, whats hers and whats mine.Estelle snagged a frypan out of the dish rack, crossed the room, and raised it for a rocketing forehand elasticity to Catfishs head. Go ahead, sing another verse about your mean old woman, Catfish. Im curious, what rhymes with clobbered?Catfish post the guitar aside and slipped on his sunglasses. You know, they say a woman was the one poisoned Robert Johnson?Do you know what she used? E stelle wasnt smiling. Im making my shopping list.Dang, woman, wherefore you talk like that? I aint been nothin but good to you.And me to you. Thats why you carry singing that mean old woman song, redress?Dont sound accountability singin sweet old woman.Estelle lowered the pan. Tears welled up in her eyes.You can help them and when its over you can stay here. you can play your music, I can paint. People in Pine Cove love your music.People here sayin hello to me on the street, puttin too much money in the pointedness jar, buying me drinks I aint got the Blues on me no more.So you have to go wreck your car, or pick cotton, or shoot a man in Memphis, or whatever it is that you have to do to put the Blues on you? For what?Its what I do. I dont know nothin else.Youve never assay anything else. Im here, Im real.Is it so bad to know that you have a warm bed to sleep in with someone who loves you? Theres nothing out there, Catfish.That dragon out there. He always be out there.So face it. You got international from it before.Why you care?Because it took a lot for me to open my heart to you afterward what Ive been through, and I dont have much tolerance for cowards anymore.Call it like you sees it, Mama.Estelle turned and went back to the kitchen. Then maybe you better go.Ill get my hat, Catfish said. He snapped the National back into its case, grabbed his hat from the table, and in a importation he was gone.Estelle turned and stared at the door. When she heard his station wagon start, she fell to the spirit level and felt a once warm future bleed a black stain around her.Meanwhile, Back at the RanchThe undermine lay under a hillside, less than a mile from the ranch road at Theos cabin. The narrow mouth looked down over a wide, grassy marine terrace to the Pacific, and the interior, which opened into a huge cathedral chamber, echoed with the sound of c foolhardying waves. Fossilized starfish and trilobites peppered the walls and the rocky floor was covered w ith a patina of bat guano and crystallized sea salt. The last time Steve had visited the core out it had been underwater, and he had spent a pleasant autumn there feeding on the gray whales that migrated down the coast to Baja to bear their young. He didnt remember the cave consciously, of course, but when he sensed that mollie was searching for a privateness place, the map in his mind that had long ago gone to intellect led them there.Since theyd arrived at the cave, a dark mood had fallen on Steve and, in turn, over molly. Shed used the weed-whacker on the Sea Beast some(prenominal) times to try to cheer him up, but now the sex railroad car was out of gas and mollie was developing a heat rash on the inside of her thighs from repeated tongue lashings. It had been two days since she had eaten, and even Steve refused to touch his cows (Black Angus steers, now that Molly knew he couldnt last dairy).Since the advent of the Sea Beast, Molly had been in a state of controlled euph oria. Worries about her sanity had melted away and she had joined him in the Zen moment that is the life of an animal, but since the dream and the horrible self-consciousness that had descended on Steve, the whimsicality of their incompatibility had begun to rise in Mollys mind like a trout to a fly.Steve, she said, leaning on her broadsword and staring him squarely in one of his basketball game eyes, your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon.The Sea Beast, rather than go on the defensive (which was fortunate for Molly, because the only defense he could think of was to bite her legs off), let out a pathetic whimper and tried to tuck his huge head under a forelimb. Molly immediately regretted her comment and tried to patch the damage.Oh, I know, its not your fault. Maybe someone sells Tic Tacs the size of easy chairs. Well get through it. But she didnt mean it, and Steve could sense her insincerity. Maybe we need to get out more, she added.Dawn had broken outside and a bea m of sunlight was blow into the cathedral like a cops flashlight in a blackened bar. Maybe a swim, Molly said. Your gills seem to be healing. How she knew the treelike growths on his neck were gills, she wasnt sure perhaps more of the unspoken communication that passes in the midst of lovers.Steve lifted his head and Molly thought that she might have gotten his attention, but then she noticed that a shadow had advance over the enamor to the cave. She looked up to see half a dozen people in choir robes stand up at the opening of the cathedral.Weve go in to offer sacrifice, one woman managed to say.And not a breath mint among you, Ill bet, Molly said.twenty-fiveTheoH.P.s Cafe was crowded with early morning old guys drinking coffee. Theo downed three cups of coffee quickly, which only served to make him anxious. Val and Gabe had ordered a cinnamon roll to share, and now Val was feeding a piece of it to Gabe as if the man had in some manner managed to reach middle age and earn two Ph.D.s without ever having learned to feed himself. Theo just wanted to blow the bitter chunks of indignation.Val said, I certainly hope that the presence of this tool isnt responsible for how I feel cover now. She licked icing from her fingers.Right, Theo thought, the fact that youve fucked up all the previously fail people in town and committed a string of felonies in the process shouldnt be the rain on your little love parade. However, Theo did sub-scribe to the down righteousness mistake school of law enforcement, and he honestly believed that she was trying to right a wrong by taking her patients off their medication. So although Val was shortly irritating him like a porcu-pine suppository, he was honest enough to bring in that he was merely jealous of what she had frame with Gabe. That realized, Gabe started to irritate him as well.What do we do, Gabe? Tranquilize this thing? Shoot it? What?Assuming it exists.Assume it, Theo spat. Im afraid if you wait for enough ev idence to be sure, well have to find you an ass donor, because this creature bequeath have bitten yours off.No need to be snotty, Theo. Im just being sensibly skeptical, as any researcher would.Theo, Val said, I can carry through you a scrip for some Valium. Might take the edge off your insulation symptoms.Theo scoffed. He didnt scoff often, so he wasnt good at it, and it appeared to Gabe and Val that he might be gacking up a hair ball.You all right? Gabe asked.Im fine. I was scoffing.At what?At Dr. Feelgood here wanting to give me a prescription for Valium so Winston Krauss can fill it with M&Ms.Id forgotten about that, Val said. Sorry.It would appear that we have multifarious problems with which to deal, and I dont have a clue where to start, Theo said.Multifarious? Gabe said.A shitload, said Theo.I know what it means, Theo. I just cant believe it came out of your mouth.Val laughed gaily at Gabes kinda-sorta humor. Theo glared at her.Jenny, who was almost as cranky as Theo for having had to close H.P.s the night before and then open the equilibriumaurant in the morning when the morning girl called in sick, came by to refill their coffees.Thats your boss pulling up, isnt it, Theo? she asked, nodding toward the front. Out the window Theo could see Sheriff John Burton crawling out of his black Eldorado.Back door? Theo said, urgent pleading in his eyes.Sure, through the kitchen and Howards office.Theo was up in a second and halfway to the kitchen when he noticed that Val and Gabe had missed the entire deputize and were staring into each others eyes. He ran back and slapped the table with his open palm. They looked at him as if theyd been dragged out of a dream.Attention, Theo said, trying not to raise his voice. Sheriff coming in? My boss? Deadly drug dealer? Were criminals. Well be making a break for the back door? Now? Hello?Im not a criminal, Gabe said. Im a biologist.Theo grabbed him by the front of the shirt and made for the kitchen, force the biolog ist behind him. The criminal shrink brought up the rear.The SheriffIm looking for Betsy Butler, Burton said, flipping open a badge wallet as if everyone in the county didnt immediately gain his white Stetsonover-Armani look.Whats she done? Jenny asked, putting herself between the sheriff and the door to the kitchen.Thats not your affair. I just need to talk to her.Well, Im on the floor alone, so you have to follow me if you want to talk or Ill get behind.I dont want to talk to you.Fine. Jenny turned her back on the sheriff and went to the waitress station behind the counter to start a fresh pot of coffee.Burton followed her, suppressing the urge to put her in a choke hold. Do you know where she lives?Yes, Jenny said. But shes not home. Jenny glanced back through the kitchen window to make sure that Theo and his bunch had made it through to Howards office.Burtons face was outlet red now. Please. Could you tell me where she is?Jenny thought she could jerk this guy around for anothe r ten minutes or so, but it didnt look as if it was necessary. Besides, she was pissed at Betsy for calling in anyway. She called in this morning with a religious emergency. Her words, by the way. The flu I can understand, but Im working a double after closing last night over her spiritual emergency Where is Betsy Butler? the sheriff barked.Jenny jumped back a step. The man looked as if he might go for his gun any second. No wonder Theo had bolted out the back. She said she was going with a group up to the Beer immobilize Ranch. That they were being called by the spirit to make a sacrifice. beautiful weird, huh?Was Joseph Leander going with her?No ones supposed to know about Betsy and Joseph.I know about them. Was he going with her?She didnt say. She sounded a little spaced out.Does Theo Crowe come in here?Sometimes. Jenny wasnt volunteering anything to this creep. He was rude, he was mean, and he was wearing enough Aramis to choke a skunk.Has he been in here forthwith?No, have nt seen him.Without a word, Burton turned and stormed out the door to his Cadillac. Jenny went back to the kitchen, where Gabe, Val, and Theo were standing by the fryers, trying to stay out of the way of the two cooks, who were flipping testis and thrashing hash browns.Gabe pointed to the back door. Its locked.Hes gone, Jenny said. He was looking for Betsy and Joseph, but he asked about you, Theo. I think hes going up to the Beer Bar to find Betsy.Whats Betsy doing at the ranch? Theo asked.Something about making a sacrifice. That girl needs help.Theo turned to Val. Give me the keys to your car. Im going after him.I dont think so, the psychiatrist said, holding her purse away from him.Please, Val. Ive got to see what hes up to. This is my life here.And thats my Mercedes, and youre not taking it.I have guns, Val.Yeah, but you dont have a Mercedes. Its mine.Gabe looked at her as if shed squirted a grapefruit in his eyes. You really wont let Theo use your car? His voice was flat with d isappointment. Its just a car.They all stared at her, even the two cooks, burly Hispanic men who had until now refused to acknowledge their existence. Val reached into her purse, brought out the keys, and handed them to Theo as if she were giving up a child for sacrifice.How will we get home? Gabe asked.Go to the Head of the bullet train and wait. Ill either pick you up or call you from my cell phone and let you know whats going on. It shouldnt take long. With that, Theo ran out of the kitchen.A few seconds later Valerie Riordan cringed at the sound of squealing tires as Theo pulled out of the restaurant parking lot.SkinnerSkinner wish chasing cars as much as the future(a) dog, and they didnt get away as easily when you pursued them in another car, but despite the excite-ment of the chase, Skinner was anxious. When he had seen the Tall Guy come out to the car, he thought that the Food Guy was coming too. But now they were drive away from the Food Guy and toward the danger. Skinn er could feel it. He whined and ran back and forth across the backseat of the Mercedes, leaving nose prints on the window, then jumped into the front seat and stuck his head out the passenger window. There was no joy to the turbo-charged smells or the wind in his ears, only danger. He barked and scratched at the door handle to warn the Tall Guy, but all he got for his efforts was a perfunctory ear scratching, so he crawled into the Tall Guys lap, where it felt at least a little safer.The SheriffBurton first noticed the Mercedes behind him when he turned onto the access road to the Coast Highway. A week ago he might not have thought twice about it, but now he was eyesight an enemy in every tree. DEA wouldnt use a Mercedes, and neither would FBI, but the Mexican Mafia could. Except for his operation, they ran the meth trade out of the atomic number 74 perhaps theyd decided that they wanted the whole trade. That would explain the disap-pearance of Leander, Crowe, and the guys at the lab, except that it had been a little too clean. They would have left bodies as a warning, and they would have burned down all of Crowes cabin, not just the pot patch.He pulled his Beretta 9 mm. out of its holster and placed it on the seat next to him. He had a shotgun in the trunk, but it might as well be in Canada for all the good it would do him. if there were two or less in the car, he might take them. If more, they probably had Uzis or Mac 10 machine guns and he would run. The Mexicans liked to have a crowd in on their hits. Burton made a quick right off the highway and stopped a throng up a side street.TheoWhy hadnt he let Skinner out at the cafe? He hadnt been able to figure out the electric seat adjustment on the Mercedes, so he was driving with his knees up around the wheel anyway, but now he had an eighty-pound dog in his lap and he had to whip his head from side to side to keep Burtons Caddy in sight.The Caddy made an abrupt turn off the highway and it was all Theo could do to get the Mercedes around the loge without screeching the tires. By the time he could see around Skinners head again, the Caddy was stopped only fifty yards ahead. Theo ducked quickly onto the passenger seat and tried to call on THE FORCE to steer as they passed the Caddy.The SheriffSheriff John Burton was prepared for a confrontation with DEA agents, he was prepared for a fast escape, he was even prepared for a shoot-out with Mexican drug dealers, if it came to that. He prided himself on being tough and adaptable and thought himself superior to other men be-cause of his cool response to pressure. He was, however, not prepared to see a Mercedes cruise by with a Labrador retriever at the wheel. His Uber-mensch arrogance sear as he stared gape-jawed at the passing Mercedes. It made an erratic turn at the next corner, bouncing off a curb before disap-pearing behind a hedge.He wasnt the sort of man who doubted his own perceptions if he saw it, he saw it so his mind dropped int o politician manner to file the experi-ence. That right there, he said aloud, is why I will never support a bill to license dogs to drive.Still, political certainties werent going to count for much if he didnt get to Betsy Butler and find out what had happened to his prized drug mule. He pulled a U-turn and headed back to the Coast Highway, where he found himself looking a little more closely than usual at the drivers in oncoming cars.MollyThere were thirty of them all together. half a dozen stood side by side at the cave entrance the rest crowded behind them, trying to get a look inside. Molly recognized the one doing the talking, she was the ditzy waitress from H.P.s cafe. She was in her mid-twenties, with short blonde hair and a figure that promised to go pear-shaped by the time she hit forty. She wore a white choir robe over jeans and aerobics shoes.Youre Betsy from H.P.s, right? Molly asked, leaning on her broadsword.Betsy seemed to recognize Molly for the first time, Youre t he craz Molly held up her sword to hush the girl. Be nice.Sorry, said Betsy. Weve been called. I didnt yield you to be here.Two women stepped up beside Betsy, the pastel church ladies that Molly had chased away from the dragon trailer. Remember us?Molly shook her head. What exactly do you all think you are doing here?They looked to each other, as if the question hadnt occurred to them before this. They craned their necks and squinted into the cathedral chamber to see what was behind Molly. Steve lay curled up in the dark at the back of the chamber, sulking.Molly turned and spoke to the back of the chamber. Steve, did you bring these people here? What were you opinion?A loud and low-pitched whimper came out of the dark. The crowd at the entrance murmured among themselves. Suddenly a man stepped for-ward and pushed Betsy aside. He was in his mid-forties and wore an African dashiki over khakis and Birkenstocks, his long hair held out of his face with a beaded headband. Look, man, y ou cant stop us. Theres something very special and very spiritual happening here, and were not going to let some crazy woman keep us from being part of it. So just back off.Molly smiled. You want to be a part of this, do you?Yeah, thats right, the man said. The others nodded behind him.Fine, I want you all to empty your pockets before you come in here. Leave your keys, wallets, money, everything outside.We dont have to do that, Betsy said.Molly stepped up and compact her sword into the ground between the girls feet. Okay then, naked. Molly said.What?No one comes in here unless they are naked. Now get to it.Protests arose until a short Asian man with a shaved head shrugged off his saffron robes, stepped forward, and bowed to Molly, thus mooning the rest of the group.Molly shook her head sorrowfully at the monk. I thought you guys had more sense. Then she turned to the back of the cave and shouted, Hey, Steve, cheer up, I brought home Chinese for lunch.